it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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