yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
