we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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