He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
