id be glad to
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
