Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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