Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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