Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize