So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
