Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
