you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
