his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
