Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
