I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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