Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
