There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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