Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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