worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
