I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
