I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i drank out of a bidet.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
