he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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