dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
