Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize