we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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