how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
