What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
