Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize