She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
