I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
