I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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