I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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