I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
