hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
