just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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