Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
