my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Floor bacon is actually really good
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
