she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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