you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
