is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
