My pussy is not your playground.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
