i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
