He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am available for nakedness
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
