Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
