What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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