I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We're too hungover to prance.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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