his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
