WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
