i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
