My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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