So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
