God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We need to get me chipped asap
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
