Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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