Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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