where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
