I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize