Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
