she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
