I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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