Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
