I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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