does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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