party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
