I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
