I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
