(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
