My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
