i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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