im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
