I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
splinters make it hard to masturbate
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
