Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize